I Carry their Memory with Grace

Nothing can fill the gap when we are away from those we love, and it would be wrong to try to find anything. We must hold out and win through. That sounds hard at first, but at the same time, it is a great consolation, since leaving the gap unfilled preserves the bond between us. It is nonsense to say that God fills the gap; he does not fill it but keeps it empty so that our communion with another may be kept alive, even at the cost of pain. —DIETRICH BONHOEFFER

I find it amazing how God always knows what we need and when we need it. Today’s Healing after Loss and my 365-Day Grief Journal both talk about loving our lost and carrying them with us.

Day 4 – In Loving Memory

Affirmation:

I carry their memory with grace.

Prompt:

What moment with them do I treasure most?

Reflection:

In remembering, you keep them close. In healing, you honor their love.

What moment do I treasure most with Mark would be our first Christmas together. Watching him play with Bryce was so wonderful. They were best friends from the moment they met.

There are so many moments that we treasure our families, it can be hard to choose the one moment that means more than others. Each memory by itself may seem small, but when we put all our memories together, they can form a compelling narrative in our minds.

Martha states. “There is a space in my heart that is always yours.” My Journal Reflection for today says we keep them close when we remember them and honor their love by healing. We always have a place in our hearts for those we love and keep them close. To celebrate their love in our lives, we need to heal and live the life we are given.

I know that it is so hard to do when you are in the same daily routines. As Bryce and I moved, we kept finding little pieces of Mark’s life. It brought up memories and allowed us to heal. We had just returned from the storage shed, hot and exhausted, when we were sitting in the living room, and I asked, “Where did we put your dad?” Then I remembered I had put him on a table that was not going to the shed until the last trip. He was safe there as long as I can remember. When we were leaving the house, we decided to put him right behind the driver’s seat. And then I realized we left him in the car when we went into the hotel. This was a sad reality for me. I know that he is not here with us and that what I have are his ashes, but it is still heartbreaking to think I left him alone in the car. I believe that I am healing, and little things come up. I want to honor the life he lived, even the bad times. As we know, the bad always brings good, and I want the rest of my life to be good.

Losing him has been a bigger struggle than I thought. There are so many decisions that we made incorrectly when Mark was still alive. Had we chosen the right path, then Bryce and I might not be struggling to find a place to live now. I do know that we will survive and someday look back and laugh. Sadly, for today, it is not a laughing matter and hurts to even talk about.

So, what moment with your loved ones do you treasure most?

Hickman, Martha W. Healing After Loss: Daily Meditations for Grief Recovery (p. 230). HarperCollins. Kindle Edition.