💧Letting My Health Go Down the Drain

 Letting My Health Go Down the Drain

By Dyan

I know I need to take better care of my health—and I do feel guilty. The truth is, I haven’t been watching what I eat or drink. I haven’t been taking my medicine. I knew my blood sugar was high, but I didn’t realize how high until last week in the ambulance. It was 412.

That didn’t surprise me as much as it should have. I had just had a Mountain Dew and hadn’t eaten in a while. We were still finishing the move, my nerves were frayed, and fast food—mostly Taco Bell—was the easiest option. It was cheap. It was quick.
But it was not the best diet for a diabetic.
Trust me, I know.

😓 Stress Took Over

Between losing Mark, packing to move, getting hurt, and constantly worrying about Bryce... it all became too much. And when that happens, I always do the same thing:
I let myself go.

We’ve been in Omaha for two days now, and thankfully, the stress has lessened. We’ve been trying to eat better—though I still have no appetite. It’s like my body is in shutdown mode, still recovering from everything we just went through.

🌙 A Strange Night

Last night was odd. I woke up standing in the middle of the room, disoriented. I had just dreamed about my mom asking me why I was wearing my pink headphones. It felt so real.

Bryce woke up too and asked what I was doing. He gently told me to get back to bed.
It rattled me.

But that strange moment made me think about my health again—specifically my glucometer. I realized I had accidentally left it behind in Des Moines, so I bought a new one. Now I have one for home and one for the car.

⚠️ A Dangerous Number

I tested my blood sugar. The screen just read: Hi.
I wasn’t sure what that even meant.

An hour later, Bryce insisted I test again. I did—and this time, it read over 800.
I have never seen it that high. 412 was shocking. 800? Terrifying.

I had told the EMTs that my levels should be around 350. I was clearly off by a lot.

🚶‍♀️ A Walk Toward Healing

Bryce and I decided to go for a walk and check out the hotel’s fitness room. I know I’ll need to take it slow. But I also know this is the beginning of a new effort—for him, and for me. I need to bring both my blood sugar and my weight down.

After we got back to the room, I sat down and began writing these thoughts.